An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident with a lorry and was sueing the lorry company. In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus..
Solicitor
'Now didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'
Seamus
'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow Bessie into the...'
Solicitor
'I didn't ask for any details, just answer the question. Did you not tell the police officer at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine!" ?'
Seamus
'Well, I had just got Bessie into the sidecar and I was driving down the road.....'
The solicitor interrupted again and said,
'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident this man told the police that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.
'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came charging across the road, gun still in hand , looked me up and down, and said
'How badly are you hurt?'
'Now what the F**k would you have said'?
.
Jul 30, 2010
Oxy-morons
Oxy-morons
to put a chuckle in your day
(This came to me in an email from my wonderful cousin Deneen)
(This came to me in an email from my wonderful cousin Deneen)
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are
made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay
you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28 . Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
I dunno, why do we?
Jul 29, 2010
An Introduction
Allow me to introduce you to Gratitude... you can call him 'tude for short. This little bear was given to me by Rita, a gal I work with at the Food Bank every Monday. She said he is for keeping me company on my trike. I thought that was really sweet of her... perhaps she heard what I had told some of the other girls... that my beloved dog Reba is gone from this earth so can no longer ride the trike with me.
I used a bungie cord to attach 'tude to the trike seat right behind me, then as we rode home that afternoon he started to tap me on the back. I looked at our shadow and discovered what he was trying to tell me... only one little foot was still being held by the bungie and he was very nearly ready to take a flying lesson that he didn't want. I'm sure that flying would be a one of the good fat-burners, though he doesn't need to burn fat and he has no wings. Anyway, I reached back and pulled his leg securely into the bungie for the rest of the short ride home.
This shoelace harness keeps him securely attached to the trike seat, though he still needs the bungie cord over his feet so he's sitting up rather than laying down. This is not an optimal situation but will do until I figure out a better way to attach 'tude to my trike.
I used a bungie cord to attach 'tude to the trike seat right behind me, then as we rode home that afternoon he started to tap me on the back. I looked at our shadow and discovered what he was trying to tell me... only one little foot was still being held by the bungie and he was very nearly ready to take a flying lesson that he didn't want. I'm sure that flying would be a one of the good fat-burners, though he doesn't need to burn fat and he has no wings. Anyway, I reached back and pulled his leg securely into the bungie for the rest of the short ride home.
This shoelace harness keeps him securely attached to the trike seat, though he still needs the bungie cord over his feet so he's sitting up rather than laying down. This is not an optimal situation but will do until I figure out a better way to attach 'tude to my trike.
Jul 25, 2010
Today
So.... what did I do today?
- Of course I thought a lot about Reba. It is one week ago today that I had to help her leave this physical existence. As I was outside at one point, in the corner of my eye I saw something black move and thought it was Reba... it was a garbage bag and wind.
- This evening when it was cooling down after a hot day, I was opening windows. For the first time in a week I opened the window & door looking out into Reba's Run. There sits her dog house... empty. Already the weeks are growing up out there, showing that there is no dog to keep them trampled down or dug out. It looked so empty and made me feel very sad.
- I went to town today and spent time with Wendy, drank tea & visited at Tim Horton's.
- I stopped at the Superstore and got some crackers, also got fresh cherries & blueberries.
- This evening I went outside and sat at the table in my garden, pitting & eating cherries, then watered my garden and came inside to put the cherries in baggies and into the freezer. Washed the blueberries and will bag & freeze them tomorrow after they dry... and will eat some too.
- Looked at a few things on the internet: hummus recipes, Redenvelope.com, more hummus recipes, Tahini recipes. Checked email. Played solitaire.
- Talked on the phone to Joyce for awhile, later to Tuggy.
- Thought about how it's only 5 months until Christmas, lol. I guess it's time to start thinking about gifts and such as I like to make most of mine which does take some time. I enjoy getting ideas from websites or magazines and friends. I also tend to make gift things in the craft I am into at the time.
Not a greatly exciting day, but not a bad one either.
.
- Of course I thought a lot about Reba. It is one week ago today that I had to help her leave this physical existence. As I was outside at one point, in the corner of my eye I saw something black move and thought it was Reba... it was a garbage bag and wind.
- This evening when it was cooling down after a hot day, I was opening windows. For the first time in a week I opened the window & door looking out into Reba's Run. There sits her dog house... empty. Already the weeks are growing up out there, showing that there is no dog to keep them trampled down or dug out. It looked so empty and made me feel very sad.
- I went to town today and spent time with Wendy, drank tea & visited at Tim Horton's.
- I stopped at the Superstore and got some crackers, also got fresh cherries & blueberries.
- This evening I went outside and sat at the table in my garden, pitting & eating cherries, then watered my garden and came inside to put the cherries in baggies and into the freezer. Washed the blueberries and will bag & freeze them tomorrow after they dry... and will eat some too.
- Looked at a few things on the internet: hummus recipes, Redenvelope.com, more hummus recipes, Tahini recipes. Checked email. Played solitaire.
- Talked on the phone to Joyce for awhile, later to Tuggy.
- Thought about how it's only 5 months until Christmas, lol. I guess it's time to start thinking about gifts and such as I like to make most of mine which does take some time. I enjoy getting ideas from websites or magazines and friends. I also tend to make gift things in the craft I am into at the time.
Not a greatly exciting day, but not a bad one either.
.
Reba - Very Sad News
I posted this a few days ago on my other blog... and still it took me awhile to face coming here to Reba's Run to pass this news along here. It is with deep sadness that I do so now.
On Sunday, July 18, I had to have Reba, my beloved dog and companion, put down. She had cancer and when a tumor on her shoulder burst open she was uncomfortable and I knew the time had come. It has been very difficult, and yet I know it is the best for Reba Jane Rottenweiler. She was such a great dog and I was blessed to share about 11 1/2 years of my life with her. Reba was born December 14, 1998 and came to live with me at approximately 7 weeks of age. We had a challenge at the start as I just couldn't seem to bond with this dog and felt I should get rid of her.... she just wasn't the right dog for me. Thankfully, I spoke to my next door neighbor about this and she pointed out to me that the problem was ... Reba was not D-O-G.
D-O-G (pronounced dee OH gee) was a Belgium Tervern. I didn't know her exact birth date, so chose a day that would be very close... February 2 - Ground Dog Day. She too came into my life at about 7 weeks of age and shared my life for about 11 1/2 years. She only went onto the highway one time and that was enough. She died instantly when she was hit August 27, 1998.
I had loved D-O-G very deeply and we went everywhere together from the first moment we met. She was the best dog in the world!! Nearly 5 1/2 months later, when I got Reba, I thought I had healed and as it turned out, I hadn't. I still miss D-O-G today, nearly 12 years later. Once my neighbor pointed out that Reba was not D-O-G, I realized that somehow I had been holding that against her and I needed to love her for who she was. That was very easy from that moment on. I did love Reba for who she was and I know I will always love & miss her like I do D-O-G. I have been very blessed to have 2 such wonderful dogs share my life.
I don't think I can live without a dog for long after those 2 girls. I was a confirmed CAT person, thank you very much, with no desire to have a dog... until I met D-O-G and she forever changed my life. Now I know the total, unconditional love and adoration of a good dog and know I will one day have to have another one to not only love me the way these 2 did, but also to honor the love and memories I have for D-O-G and Reba.
It's amazing how many people loved my Reba from the moment they met her. She really was an incredible girl and showed many people that Rottweilers aren't all 'killer dogs', but can also be filled with love and be filled with joy at the chance to share that love even with strangers.
In Love & Light
Reba's Mom 'Bean
Alice
.
On Sunday, July 18, I had to have Reba, my beloved dog and companion, put down. She had cancer and when a tumor on her shoulder burst open she was uncomfortable and I knew the time had come. It has been very difficult, and yet I know it is the best for Reba Jane Rottenweiler. She was such a great dog and I was blessed to share about 11 1/2 years of my life with her. Reba was born December 14, 1998 and came to live with me at approximately 7 weeks of age. We had a challenge at the start as I just couldn't seem to bond with this dog and felt I should get rid of her.... she just wasn't the right dog for me. Thankfully, I spoke to my next door neighbor about this and she pointed out to me that the problem was ... Reba was not D-O-G.
D-O-G (pronounced dee OH gee) was a Belgium Tervern. I didn't know her exact birth date, so chose a day that would be very close... February 2 - Ground Dog Day. She too came into my life at about 7 weeks of age and shared my life for about 11 1/2 years. She only went onto the highway one time and that was enough. She died instantly when she was hit August 27, 1998.
I had loved D-O-G very deeply and we went everywhere together from the first moment we met. She was the best dog in the world!! Nearly 5 1/2 months later, when I got Reba, I thought I had healed and as it turned out, I hadn't. I still miss D-O-G today, nearly 12 years later. Once my neighbor pointed out that Reba was not D-O-G, I realized that somehow I had been holding that against her and I needed to love her for who she was. That was very easy from that moment on. I did love Reba for who she was and I know I will always love & miss her like I do D-O-G. I have been very blessed to have 2 such wonderful dogs share my life.
I don't think I can live without a dog for long after those 2 girls. I was a confirmed CAT person, thank you very much, with no desire to have a dog... until I met D-O-G and she forever changed my life. Now I know the total, unconditional love and adoration of a good dog and know I will one day have to have another one to not only love me the way these 2 did, but also to honor the love and memories I have for D-O-G and Reba.
It's amazing how many people loved my Reba from the moment they met her. She really was an incredible girl and showed many people that Rottweilers aren't all 'killer dogs', but can also be filled with love and be filled with joy at the chance to share that love even with strangers.
In Love & Light
Reba's Mom 'Bean
Alice
.
Jul 16, 2010
Naturally
It is important for the health to get some sunshine as that is where your body gets Vitamin D. Sunshine can brighten your life not only physically but also mentally. As an added bonus, sunshine is a natural acne treatment. I prefer to do things naturally whenever possible and the older I get the more I understand the importance of doing it this way rather than going to doctors for drugs.
I like to drink a lot of tea and much of it has health properties of some sort. One of my favorite teas is Rooibos, especially the Georgia Peach Rooibos. Rooibos, or African Redbush, tea is high in antioxidants and other good-for-you stuff... all naturally.
I have always tried to keep the thistles from growing in my yard and last year thought I had them almost eradicated. This year I have a whole big crop of the things. I have been thinking I should go dig them out or chop them down or something to get rid of them... and then a light came on. Thistle Tea!!! So I have done some research on it and yes it has some good health benefits!! What do you do when Life gives you lemons?? You make lemonade, of course... and when Life gives you an abundant crop of thistles, you make thistle tea. I plan to do more research on this yet and am thinking it might be a great idea to bag up a bunch of thistle tea and go to Farmer's Market to sell it.
The above has been: Human Input by Reba's Mom 'Bean
.
I like to drink a lot of tea and much of it has health properties of some sort. One of my favorite teas is Rooibos, especially the Georgia Peach Rooibos. Rooibos, or African Redbush, tea is high in antioxidants and other good-for-you stuff... all naturally.
I have always tried to keep the thistles from growing in my yard and last year thought I had them almost eradicated. This year I have a whole big crop of the things. I have been thinking I should go dig them out or chop them down or something to get rid of them... and then a light came on. Thistle Tea!!! So I have done some research on it and yes it has some good health benefits!! What do you do when Life gives you lemons?? You make lemonade, of course... and when Life gives you an abundant crop of thistles, you make thistle tea. I plan to do more research on this yet and am thinking it might be a great idea to bag up a bunch of thistle tea and go to Farmer's Market to sell it.
The above has been: Human Input by Reba's Mom 'Bean
.
Jul 15, 2010
Still Here...
Whoof!! Thanks fur coming by to visit this old dog. I have not been feeling so well later and I think I have something that even vitamins won't help. I have a big huge lump on my left shoulder. It doesn't hurt but it feels 'weird' on there. I know that the 'life expectancy' of rottweilers in 8-12 years. I was born December 14, 1998 so that makes me just over 11 1/2 years old. Yup, I'm on the far end of my life expectancy and I've had a good, full life. Mom and some of our friends always thought I would outlive the expectancy, that I had a few years left here yet. I think that would have been right if it wasn't fur cancer. That has cut my life short.
Mom has been working to make a 'furever bed' fur my body to rest in fur eternity after my spirit leaves it and 'goes home'. I've watched her doing some of it and have gone and checked it out. So far it looks good, and it looks like a lot of work. You see, cuz of pain and such, Mom has let this place get real overgrown and so there are lots of weeds and thistles and burdocks and wild roses and spreading juniper that have to be cleared away. Mom now has enough cleared to be able to dig in the dirt to make my body's furever bed. Now she has to do lots of digging in hard ground. Dan said he'd come help Mom but hasn't done that yet and Mom wants to get it done.... just in case my time to leave comes soon. It gets real hot in the afternoon so she likes to do the work in the morning. Today she had to go to her TOPS meeting, then to visit Nan (her Mom). Tomorrow she has a Dr. appointment in the morning so can't work out there fur very long. She's going to be gone all day Saturday too. She better get this done real soon!!! I'm starting to hear God & the Angels calling me home and will have to go to them soon.
Jul 8, 2010
Dumb Guy
Mom had a date for this evening. She met this guy at work back in the '80s (whatever that means... I think it was long time before I was born anyway). The been kinda friends all those years and he's been looking and looking fur Mom. She gave up her land line so even if he thought to look in the phone book he wouldn't be able to phone her. He says he's been going to meat draws and auctions, places he knows she goes sometimes, looking fur her, even drove to the pool lots looking fur her truck. The other day she decided to phone him and he told her all this. He said he'd call her at 5pm today when he got off work and they'd go out. It's now 7:14 and no call. Mom is not impressed. She has now made other plans, to go out woof Wendy fur tea. She thinks that human growth hormone supplements are more exciting and intelligent than men that stand up a woman fur a date. If he calls her, now that he has her phone number, he better have a real good excuse or he's written off. NEXT!!!
Jul 7, 2010
I'm Still Here.
Hi everyone. I am still alive today!! In fact, I felt good enough to chase that silly cat today, so this shows I am holding my own here. Yes, it was a nasty thing what happened to me, Mom 'Bean thinks it was a heart attack, but I'm still here fur now and Mom won't let me suffer. She loves me too much to let that happen... and she believes 'life after death' is way better than life here on earth is, even though life on earth is great.
The other day Mom 'Bean took her drivers test on her trike motorcycle. When she got there, there was a young boy that was taking a test too, but maybe in a car, she's not sure. She told me he looked like he was a goalie fur a dart team and was doin' a good job cuz he had a real messed up face. All sores all over it. Sounds to me like he needs some best acne products. She saw him again when she got back from taking her test, about an hour later. She wondered if he passed his test like she did hers.
Every day you are still on this side of the grass is a good day. ARF.
The other day Mom 'Bean took her drivers test on her trike motorcycle. When she got there, there was a young boy that was taking a test too, but maybe in a car, she's not sure. She told me he looked like he was a goalie fur a dart team and was doin' a good job cuz he had a real messed up face. All sores all over it. Sounds to me like he needs some best acne products. She saw him again when she got back from taking her test, about an hour later. She wondered if he passed his test like she did hers.
Every day you are still on this side of the grass is a good day. ARF.
Jul 5, 2010
All About Reba
Human Input...
As Reba's Mom 'Bean I think I will be needing some under eye cream for dark circles. This would be due to lack of sleep, worry, and grief.
Last night Reba had a bad seizure/stoke. For more info on this you can read about it here. She is okay though not at all well today. My very wonderful dog is not long for this world. Everyone that has met Reba has loved her, she has such a fabulous, loving personality. I am not the only one that will soon be missing her, just the one that will miss her the most. For now though she is still alive and I have phoned in and canceled my Volunteer job for today. I feel it is more important to stay home and look after my dog. Not that I can do much if anything for her other than be here and love her, but at least I can do that. I can't cancel my Motorcycle Road Test that is booked for today so will ride to town later and do that, but for now I'm home with my dog.
As Reba's Mom 'Bean I think I will be needing some under eye cream for dark circles. This would be due to lack of sleep, worry, and grief.
Last night Reba had a bad seizure/stoke. For more info on this you can read about it here. She is okay though not at all well today. My very wonderful dog is not long for this world. Everyone that has met Reba has loved her, she has such a fabulous, loving personality. I am not the only one that will soon be missing her, just the one that will miss her the most. For now though she is still alive and I have phoned in and canceled my Volunteer job for today. I feel it is more important to stay home and look after my dog. Not that I can do much if anything for her other than be here and love her, but at least I can do that. I can't cancel my Motorcycle Road Test that is booked for today so will ride to town later and do that, but for now I'm home with my dog.
Jul 4, 2010
What I like
Some of my dog friends really like playing woof their toys. I never have been much interested in that kind of thing. Mom has tried to get me to play woof balls and stuff like that and I have humored her a little bit, but mostly just can`t work up any enthusiasm fur the things. I just like to walk woof Mom, have her and some of my other human friends pet me, and of course, play woof my dog friends. I also like eating dog cookies. Go figure. Oh ya, I like ice cream too.
My Opinion
There are still no birth announcements, though Mom keeps hoping to one day see eggs in the bird nests followed in due time by baby birds. Over time though she has been realizing that she doesn`t really have time to be hand feeding and playing woof new babies of any kind. As much as she`d like to have grand birds she knows it`s best that neither of her mated bird pairs are producing. I personally think she should get rid of all critters except me and spend all her time petting and loving just me.
Just my opinion.
Just my opinion.
Summer Time
On hot sunny days when Mom takes me riding in my special box on her trike she said I will have an umbrella to keep me in shade whenever we park anywhere. She will park me in the shade of a tree or a building whenever she can too. When we ride down the road I will be 'in the wind' so will be as cool as can be on a hot summer day. She might even get me some kind of promotional umbrellas if she can pick it up cheep enough... our budget is tight. Whatever kind it is, it has to be able to somehow clamp onto the trike to keep it in place so it doesn`t fall down. She`s going to make me a nice, strong harness for tying me into the box so I will be safe when we`re driving, and put some foam in the box fur me to stand on to be cushioned when we bump.
Wish List
Whoof!! It's just under 6 months to Christmas now and this dog is workin' on her Wish List:
- Dog cookies.
-Harness to keep me safe in Mom's trike... never mind, I want that now, not in 6 months.
- A nice ball to re-gift to Brynx cuz I don't play ball.
- More dog cookies.
- document scanning software to give to Nan cuz I think she'd like it.
- A nice new brush fur Mom to use on me.
- Dog treats.
- Raw hamburgers.
- and lots more stuff.
- Dog cookies.
-
- A nice ball to re-gift to Brynx cuz I don't play ball.
- More dog cookies.
- document scanning software to give to Nan cuz I think she'd like it.
- A nice new brush fur Mom to use on me.
- Dog treats.
- Raw hamburgers.
- and lots more stuff.
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