Manic Monday - Drink

My DOGIC version of...


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I saw something on the TV news tonight (hey, I watch what Mom watches) about St. Pat's Day and how hoomans drink lots of green stuff, like green beer and wine. Yuck. Just give me water any ol' day of the week.

Anyway, Mom's friend Jamey emailed her some stupid Irish jokes. She took and changed names and a few other words to make them 'genetic' so no one would get offended at 'racist' jokes. She posted 2 of 'em to her blog, then let me have the other 2 to share woof you here, ya hear? (Arf, arf, arf... that was a play on words).

Into a pub comes Joe, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

“What happened to you?" asks Mac, the bartender.
"Jamie Smith and me had a fight," says Joe.
"That little shit, Smith," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Joe, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Mac, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
“That I did," said Joe. "Mrs. Smith's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

A man who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, “where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Mom says that if you don't like the jokes, just go drink some more green beer, cuz drinking lots of green beer makes everything funnier. (Hoomans.... sheeesh!)

Have a WOOFENDERFUL MANIC MONDAY

&

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Dog - Hooman Dictionary

How to speak dog. I’m working on a Dog - Hooman Dictionary. This is the start of it. If any of you dawgs that visit me have any input, let me know.

Arf, arf, arf = laughing (ha, ha, ha)

Whoof = hello

Whoof, woof = a big hello

Woof = with

Woofenderful = wonderful

Bark = whatever I want it to at the time, mostly a sign of excitement and happiness.

Meow = (fat chance. No way will I ever meow. Just threw it in to mess woof yur mind.

Fur = 1- the hair of a dog or cat; 2- for

Yur = your

Dawg = dog (woof a red neck accent)

grrrrr = I'm not happy 'bout something

grrrrRUFF = I'm excited

'nough fur now.... maybe I'll add more later. Time fur a dawg nap.

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My Mom loves her usb flash drives. She finds they work really great for an exterior hard drive, she stores all her photos on one of them so if the 'puter dies, she still has the photos. She also uses one of them a lot for taking information between her 2 computers, or one at home and one at church where she does volunteer work.

What's up now.

Whoof! Welcome to my blog. It has been a sad week and my Mom has had some dips down into deep depression. She doesn't even know what to say on our blogs now and this makes it hard for me to know what to say cuz I'm so connected to her. Yesterday she was so depressed it even scared her cuz she's 'been there' before and says it's a dark and dangerous place to go. The good news though is that she seems to be feeling a bit better today than she did yesterday. I think it's that one week anniversary since Shadow left us that kicked her in the butt. Thank God that's over though I dread the second week anniversary. I hope they get easier as they pass. On top of it, Mom's friend Art called yesterday wanting demanding his CDs back that he loaned Mom and he was not very friendly. He said for her to leave them with a friend of his and hung up before Mom could ask him if he's mad at her. He wanted a commitment that Mom wasn't ready to make so she thinks he's cut her out of his life.... and at a bad time for Mom to loose more.

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Have you thought about checking out individual health insurance? This could be a good time to do so.

Laptop

When Mom had to use her desk top computer she had to sit in the back room where there's only a little window and not a lot of natural light. That's where the desk is woof the big 'puter on it. Then she got herself a nice laptop and now she can sit in the living room where there's the TV and big windows that let in lots more light. And of course, there's me. When Mom is working on her 'puter and watching TV I lay on the floor near her and it's lots more comfortable on the carpet than it is on the hard floor in the back room. Also, Mom loves that she can take her 'puter all over the place woof her and work on it no matter where she is. She takes it to Nan's house, to her Spiritual Centre, to the dog park, all over that place. She even takes it to bed woof her sometimes. It's a good thing that she's so happy woof her laptop cuz it makes it so she's willing to do more 'data entry' work for me. My paws are way to big to type properly, so Mom is my 'secretary' as well as my maid, my showfur, my chef, well, you get the pikture.

Thank You All

My Mom and I thank each and every one of you that have come from the Blogesphere to visit us here and express your sympathy in our time of morning. We miss our Shadow so much, and your kind and loving words and purrrrs and purrrayers are such a great help to us. I keep looking for Shadow but I haven't seen him in the last few days and this confuses me. Mom said something about him being gone to the Rainbow Bridge, but I'm not quite sure what that means, or when he'll be back home woof us. He isn't in the bathroom eating and his dishes and litter box are even gone. He doesn't even come to bed woof Mom at night now and he always came to bed woof Mom. Is that why Mom is so sad now? I think so.

Mom said we'll come visit all of you that have left the nice messages fur us her. You've all really touched her heart. It will take a few days, maybe more, but you can all expect a visit from us. Thanks again.

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Before Shadow disappeared, he got real skinny. I can understand why some hoomans and some of their critters would want to get rid of fat from their bodies, but please do it in a healthy way, not the way Shadow did it. Go here for some information on weight loss.

Sad Update on Shadow

Shadow

April 28, 1991 - March 6, 2008

It is with great sadness that I have to tell you that my beloved Shadow didn't make it through the night. I got a call this morning from the vet office and they told me he had passed away during the night. I was not surprised and had I looked at the clock earlier I am sure I could tell you the exact time he went. You see, I woke up during the night feeling a great emptiness, a real feeling of being alone. I think that I felt him leave his body and my life.

I know I will never forget my 'little man', and will always love him. He was my 'grand kitten' who became oh so much more. See what I wrote yesterday. I must go now and start digging his grave, oh how I wish I had someone to help me with this job, and to hold me in his arms while I cry my heart out... and there is no one I can reach out to for this kind of support, so off I do to dig and cry alone. I will try to write more about Shadow later on, or tomorrow.

Thank you to Riley & Tiki for your comments and support. Your words are appreciated.

"Mom"

Update on Shadow

Just wanted to let you know I had to take Shadow (my beloved cat) to the vet today. He has to stay for the night, and maybe tomorrow night too. It appears that his kidneys are shutting down. He is dehydrated so is on IV fluids. The plan is to rehydrate him as well as flush the toxins out that the kidneys haven't been able to, and hope the kidneys will start to work properly again. The vet said IF this helps Shadow, it MAY extend his life, but is not a cure for him. It may be that his kidneys are just worn out. She said he could have 3 days, 3 weeks, or as much as a year or two, there is no way to know.

I picked his mother, Smoothedge, out of the litter when she was less than 24 hours old. When she was pregnant, I used to sit here and rub the little lumps in her tummy, petting her unborn babies. I remember the night she gave birth. I came home after a night out dancing and Smoothedge met me at the door. She was yowling and had these huge lumps sticking out of her body and moving around inside her. She`d yowl at me then head towards the box I`d given her for having the babies in, come back to me and yowl, etc etc. I got my boots off and followed her, then she went to the box and started giving birth right away. She had waited for me. That was April 28, 1991... nearly 17 years ago. I`m not sure how I`ll sleep without him on my bed with me... sigh.

At this time, the only `good`thing I can see here is that it`s spring, so the ground is thawing and I will soon be able to bury him with Smoothedge, D-O-G and Bronx in the `Pet Cemetery`in my orchard. This is a very sad time and I`m not sure how I`ll get through it, but I know I will.

I'll keep you updated.

"Mom"

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Here I am, supposed to be loosing weight and cholesterol... and yet I just ate 2 chocolate bars since I left Shadow at the vet. Can you say "depression eating"? Some people might be interested in top diet pills.