Aug 25, 2012

Beware of the ITIS family!!

When I was a kid I had an ongoing relationship with Tonsil Itis, missing school each time he came around, and that was fairly often as I remember it. My parents did everything they could to make Tonsil Itis go away, but he always sneaked back to me. I was 17 years old when they finally were able to take steps to have him cut out of my life permanently.

In my later 20s or early 30s, without my permission, Arthur Itis moved in with me. He's lived here for quite some years now and I don't seem to be able to move him out, apparently once he's moved in you can not make him leave, though I keep trying. I admit I have learned to live with Arthur for the most part, and though he can some days be a 'real pain', we have managed to co-exist.

Several months back now, Arthur moved one of his cousins in too... without even asking me!!! I got right on it and managed to evict Bronch Itis fairly quickly. I thought all would be well and all but forgot the incident.

One week ago today I felt something untoward was afoot around here. It turned out that another Itis had moved in! This time it was Laryng Itis, another of Arthur's cousins. When I went to the authorities about this, I was assured that Larnyg was only here on vacation and would be gone again in 2-3 days. Thank God for that... or so thought I. He is still popping in and out of my life, trying his best to keep hanging around and interrupting my conversations.

I hadn't thought at all about Bronch Itis until earlier this week when he moved right back in again, the sneaky bugger!! As if that isn't enough, Bronch brought his twin brother Sinus Itis and their 2 buddies Nasty Phlegm and Lotsa Snot! I am currently taking stops to evict them all. Though it feels today like they will never leave me alone, I must have faith and know that they indeed will soon be out of my life. They are a nasty gang of ruffians and I want them gone!!

So, as you can see, I have had nothing but problems with members of the infamous Itis family!! I have heard that Arthur has 2 girl cousins that are also very nasty and in fact, can be quite dangerous and even life threatening, so please watch out for Appendas Itis and Pancreat Itis. Lock your doors and do NOT allow them entry!!

Alice "Trinity" Price

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