All my life I have felt like, while my sister's life is on a Merry-Go-Round, mine is on a great big old Roller Coaster. All the wild ups and downs that I have experienced, wow. Wome have been so awesome and exciting, then of course they were followed by the fast trip down to bummed out. Mostly these involved men, the wild excitement of love followed by the pain of the end of the relationships. Finally I just quit taking the chances, just quit going out with guys. Oh, I still have lots of men friends, but they are just that... friends, not love relationships. Life is good.
Lately it seems like my life is something of a yo-yo and maybe I need to go hang out at yoyoplay.com for yoyos,lol. One of my friends might, just might, be becoming more. He said he doesn't want a relationship and I said good, I don't either. We have been just friends. And I have 'more than friendly' feelings starting to raise their heads... sigh. Twice now when he was drunk, no he doesn't get that way all the time, but when he did, he talked about me becoming his ol' lady. Biker talk for girlfriend. The first time, when he was sober he claimed to not remember, the second time he said he had just been joking, just having fun. So each time the ups, then the downs of the yo-yo. Today he was sober when he told me he's getting tired of being on his own, something about when we get older we start to want companionship. I am trying not to read something into this than there really is, but I can't help but think "maybe, just maybe". He's not "perfect", not quite everything I want, everything I had on "my list", yet I like him a lot. I feel safer with him than I do with most men, more comfortable, and I trust him more than I have trusted anyone in a very long time. Somehow, even though he isn't all I had in mind, something about this just feels really right.